Sometimes ... paying the price of change means ... cutting all your connections from past … written by the romanian writter Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Sometimes ... paying the price of change means ... cutting all your connections from past … written by the romanian writter Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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I continue writing.
I continue ... but I actually don't continue to write so much at this book "Insert coin" ... and i realise it is all a reflection of the fact that i don't really want to pay the price for anything i say ... i want into my life.
I speak ... a lot ... about change.
But ... more i speak ... more i understand that actually i would like that all should happen by magic ... without any interference from my side.
I mean ... happen by magic.
I would love to see the change ... romance books but without any sacrifices from my side.
And ... 100% we can't speak about ... important sacrifices.
So ... i speak and wait.
Sometimes ... i dream with my eyes opened ... illusory believing that ... magic will happen.
I'll just stay ... dream ... wait ... and then smile ... cause it all happens.
Meanwhile ... i remain anchored into all those energies from past.
... believing they don't have any influences on my life.
Because ...
Yes ... i am idiot.
I don't understand or accept the impact of those energies coming on the stage of my life ... from all the ones around me.
I don't understand ... that to make important changes ... i must change myself ... and the people around me ... don't allow that to happen.
They don't say it loud ... but i hear their inner voices whispering me ... "How dare you?! How dare you to dream of a change ... which might take you out of this reality?! You're imprisoned in here ... and you should accept your status.... "
But ... i pretend ... i don't hear those voices ... and life continues.
The change ... delays to appear ....
I wonder ... Why?! Why?! Why?! ... even if i know ... why.
I have to simple disconnect from all and everyone ... but i don't find this strength ....
Why?!
Well ... of course... i am coward ...
I've always been...
And .... maybe that is the root of the problem ... why change itself is only an illusory dream and nothing more.
I am afraid of leaving my ugly reality ... even if i know that any other type of reality ... should be better.
All i have to do is ... just cut the connections with all around myself.
And .... when i say that .... I mean totally disconnect from
them.
... maybe forever.
But ... it is weird.
I don't like any of them ... but ... i continue remaining connected to them ... their energies ... and their stupid desire to see me imprisoned into a world which i dislike.
Unfortunately ... no matter how much i try to do anything ... i just can't ... cause i am afraid of ... accessing another world ... but never being able again to come back to actual life .... I have now.
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